to my youngest as you head off to kindergarten

Dear Charlie,

You begin kindergarten in just two weeks. This is going to be new for the both of us. For the first time in 11 years, I won’t have a chubby child in my cart as I run errands. The car will be strangely quiet. Nobody will beg for one more kiss goodbye over the gate of the gym’s kid’s club.

It was different sending your older siblings to school because I still had YOU at home.

My heart feels a squeeze every time you ask me how many more days until school starts. You get a twinkle in your eye because you want to hear me say AGAIN how much I’m going to miss you. I know you are ready and I will try to be brave and ready too. Being a mom means I will always put your happiness first. You are prepared for your next big adventure and I’m looking forward to seeing you grow.

I’m pleased that you are excited to start school since the opposite could make this harder for both of us. I’m far more uncertain of the unknown then you are. This is one of the first chapters of my life that I’ve been less then eager to start. I couldn’t wait to graduate, get married, and become a mom.

I’ve spent over a decade being a mom with little ones in tow. I won’t miss the busy, tiring, or dirty moments; but I will miss when we snuggle, read together, and eat donuts in the grocery store parking lot. My favorite verses will help us figure out our next chapter of life. I have no doubt that you will quickly adapt. I also know that God will give me purpose and more ways to be productive while you are all at school.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Always be my gentle giant. It’s only right to share your smile and sweetness with others instead of keeping it all for myself. It will continue to be my highest privilege that God chose me to be your mom. I look forward to seeing you discover the purpose God has for your life. I know that this is just the beginning of the molding and shaping process.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Proverbs 3:5-6

Have an outstanding year of school my sweet boy! You will do great. Never forget that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of our Savior. God has big plans for your life and this is just the beginning!

I love you!

Mommy