7 simple tips for travelling with children

We just returned from a looooong drive with 4 children. Before we had children, we could make this drive in about 10 hours, and that 10 hours could occur in one day. Now that we have 4 incredibly loud and cabin-fever-hysteric children with the smallest bladders on the planet, the same drive now takes us about 13 hours spread over at least 2 days (sometimes 3). But there were a few things that I discovered we could have or do to make the journey a little less painful.

1. Pre-pack the car with food. Lots of it. Nix the idea that “I need to go potty” = “I want a snack.” It is also completely acceptable to use food as a bribe while you are in the car. “If you can be quiet for 10 minutes, I’ll give you this bag of Oreos. If you can’t, I’m going to eat them.” Be prepared to eat several bags of Oreos.
2. Also pack lots of drinks. But not big drinks because of the afore mentioned tiny bladders. Oh, and not bottled drinks unless you want to a)have it all over the seat or b)pour some of it out the window before you pass it back, leaving a trail of stickiness down the side of your van car. Juice boxes aren’t good either because they’ll squeeze the heck out of them and you’ll be back to the sticky seats again.
3. Bring diapers. For everyone, adults and kids alike. We are.not.stopping. Got that? It’s really just easier if you have a back-up plan.
4. Find a few new books or coloring books. My older two kids can read for hours. My younger two start out with coloring books and then scream every time a crayon hits the floor. If this is the case, or if your child gets motion sick, might I suggest Benadryl*? You may want to test this ahead of time as some children go bonkers instead of going to sleep.
5. Before you leave home, pick a few of the least obnoxious movies you have but still see #6 for more details.
6. Buy some noise-cancelling earphones† and save yourself a lot of frustration, annoyance, and tears (yours and theirs).
7. Either sucker the grandparents into driving your kids or just pay someone else to do it.  Then just fly to meet them at your final destination. I’m not sure if it’s more cost-effective that way, but everyone (except the poor driver) will be much happier

Hopefully if you follow all these directions you won’t feel like Woody and I both did after our trip.

Side note: I may or may not be jealous of Woody because he doesn’t have to do all this laundry.

*Not really. Benadryl is a real, actual drug with real, actual side effects and should only be used for it’s real, actual recommended purposes.

†Not the driver, obviously. (S)he needs to be able to hear the traffic sounds. Sorry, Driving Person, you’re gonna have to listen to Cars for the hundred-billionth time. (At least you’ll get to hear the best line in the whole movie: Well, ya know, race cars don’t need headlights because the track is always lit. So’s my brother but he still needs headlights!)